i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
