I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
