Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
