Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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