After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
