what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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