They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
