So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
