let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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