I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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