I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
