Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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