I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
