would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
