my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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