Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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