dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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