So drunk its hurt
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize