glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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