i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
