I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
