I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
