My room smells like vodka and shame
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
