Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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