I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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