im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
