i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize