just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
