you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
