I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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