Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
