At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
