wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
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