I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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