youre lurking in front of me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
