I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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