if only i could text you this smell
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
