Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
