he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
