The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
