Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
