I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
