I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
