using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
