I'd wear matching sweaters with you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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