Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
