____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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