We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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