omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
