im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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