Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
