The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
