She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
