i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
