I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize