you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
