Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i love accidental penises.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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