I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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