You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
