i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
These tits shall not be calmed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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