We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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