and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
