don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
