And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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