HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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